SCHMUCKS...HOW TO KNOW YOU'RE DATING ONE.

On My Mind

SCHMUCKS ...HOW TO KNOW YOU'RE DATING ONE.

We ask ourselves, “Why the fuck did we put up with it for so long?” The answer usually being something like, “The sex was amazing,” or, “He had those things called abs that make us crazy,” – both mistakes I have made with one or two exes of my own. So, in an attempt to help others learn from the tragedy of experience of myself & others I know & love,  I have devised a few noticeable “warning signs” signs that every guy and girl should be aware of to save you from wasting any more of your time on dating a schmuck.

We’ve all seen them before, those deluded guys who walk about with an air of superiority like a talentless big brother housemate. And we have sat by and watched them whisper sweet nothings into the ears of dear friends, only to swallow them whole then spit them out  like last season’s Prada bag, leaving us to clean up the mess with a bowl of Hokey Pokey ice-cream, a pitcher of Mojito’s and a box full of tissues.

We ask ourselves, “Why the fuck did we put up with it for so long?” The answer usually being something like, “The sex was amazing,” or, “He had those things called abs that make us crazy,” – both mistakes I have made with one or two exes of my own.

So, in an attempt to help others learn from the tragedy of experience of myself and others I know,  I have devised a few noticeable “warning signs” signs that every guy and girl should be aware of to save you from wasting any more of your time on dating a schmuck.

 

§  He’s Too Controlling
 I have to admit I’m no saint in this department myself, known for being dominant professionally, when it comes to dating I have a taste for men who are dominant and at times controlling – the proverbial Christian Grey if you will. At the end of the day however, you have to be able to keep your independence and your own life outside of the little “relationship bubble” you sometimes create – or it’s going to burst messily in your face & leave an indelible scar on your heart

 

§  He has a split personality
One of the reasons I refuse to try online dating and prefer to date a guy who has a mutual friend is because I stand a better chance of knowing what he’s like beforehand. But even this can be misleading as some guys seem to have a knack presenting as the sweetest guy in public but behind closed doors when it’s just the two of you he becomes what Jeckle is to Doctor Hyde.  Don’t let the sweetness cloud the taste of poison.  You don’t need toxic in your fabulous life and no matter how good the sex is, drop him and run as fast as your Louboutin’s can take you.
 

§ How he treats your friends
How he treats your friends is what tells you he’s worth your time and attention.  , If he is genuine about you he will make an effort to get along with your friends, even the outgoing, exhibitionist Samantha types Trust me – I know from experience.  If he can treat your friends with respect then he’s worth it but if he can’t then he is essentially disrespecting you too. Time to push that sack of dirty laundry down the chute & go shopping

 

§  Whether his words match his deeds
Beware the charmer he will whisper sweet nothings in your ear making you shiver with ecstasy but never actually follow through on his words. You don’t want to be with Mr. All-Talk-No-Action, even if he does look incredibly cute crawling back to you with his tail between his legs the next day, begging for forgiveness. . . It’s time to tell Jack to hit the road and don’t come back no more.I could go on all day about how to spot a Schmuck but I have to go & get ready for a date with a man who could possibly be the guy of my dreams, so I must bid you adieu and wish you good luck in your search! Before I do though, let me say one more thing.
 

Schmuck- spotting is never easy, even when we think we are emotionally in control of ourselves, Also, all of us – no matter how fabulous we usually are – can have a bad day now and then (stretch that to a week though and you’re pushing it…) So before you label that next guy a schmuck, take a few steps back to examine the situation objectively. It can also help to get an opinion from a friend. And don’t forget to look in the mirror and examine your own behavior. Relationships are like a tantalizing tango… it always takes two (well, sometimes more – but that’s a whole other diary post) XOW